Dear Diary,
i havent write much this summer because i have been chroniacally online on tiktok. Right now im back at home and tomorrow I have school, But it's the first day so I lowkey do not care.
Anyways, as I was saying before, I was very much online my whole summer. Mostly on tiktok and i was posting a bit frequently, but hey 4 of my videos hits more than 1k likes, one of them was goin viral even a few of the content creators i follow liked and reposts my video.
Anyways, that's not what It's really about. So my whole summer i was online and and i was posting stuff alright.one of my video i posted was a bit of a freaky meme tho, so like And then this one user i met on one of my videos comment section, and then he dm'ed me first and we start talking. And i figured we had a lot in common. And At that time, I was kinda desperate to have a boyfriend, honestly I still do right now. but like you know. So basically we started chatting and we instantly clicked. We got some things in common like age, interest etc. He's also from Malaysia but he lives farther away. So like we talked for hours and then just on the first day we decided to start dating. At first I was so happy, because I can’t believe this is happening that I finally have my first boyfriend even if it’s online. I mean I kinda see it coming tho cause our relationship is online and it’s impossible to work out, But I was blinded by desperation. So throughout our relationship we actually text and get to know each other, and even act cheesy and send those corny couples tiktok to each other. I mean i was a bit lonely that time tho even online cause all my mutuals are kinda busy ig? With school or work while I'm enjoying my summer. Anyways, so we talk, flirt, whatever I even did a face reveal with him and now I totally regret it. It’s not really, my face reveals I'm disappointed at…I mean i’m not tryna be mean and judge people by their looks. He's not ugly he’s just not who i really imagine not my type thats all. But like that’s my opinion, which does not matter. But when I sent him a picture of me, he totally glazed me and I cannot say that I don’t like it because I do very much. Because I have never gotten a compliment from a dude throughout my 18 years of life. At first tho i dont mind that much. But then he start to get a little possessive like that time I had a mutuals on tiktok and we agreed to have matching pfp’s and he notice it and ask me about that, and I like had to tell him we were just friends and that my moots is a minor so it’s not okay for me to have those type of relationship with him. He let that slide. And time passed. I kinda feel like he’s a little annoying cause he’s a bit clingy and possessive like he has to text me anytime he’s free. And I just have to reply to him every time and at that point I was just tryna find a reason to break up with him. I don't want to be forward though so I just prayed that I could just get out of this relationship with him. Then one day he texted me saying he wanted to talk to me about something. I was kinda worried too but I was a little happy because there's a chance that this relationship will finally end. And I was right. Turns out that I was actually his sidechick the whole time. He says he had an emotional relationship with this other girl that he dm’ed before me. He said he started talking to me because the girl was a mentally struggling and suicidal and he just can’t take it anymore and started talking to me from then. I wasn’t sad though I honestly don’t care. He’s a red flag, blocked. But that doesn’t end there. He texted me in discord and tried to explain himself and I blocked him too, and then he texted me using his alt. I knew he's not gonna stop until we talked. He started talking about how he actually loves me more than that girl and that he would change for me. But I don’t fuck w redflags so I told him we’re over and we’re breaking up that’s all. He agree’s and I also told him to delete my photos i sent him so he don’t blackmail me and I warned him w my dad’s status so he dont fuck with me anymore. He just agree then I blocked him again and since then I haven’t talked to him.