June 06, 2025

 

Dear Diary,

                         Love and feeling pity for yourself 


I can't call it. Love, of course but ... here's a thing 

It's the desire of being with someone but when it happens suddenly something turns u off and now you don't like him anymore! 


              -and yeah , that's me -

So ,am I struggling? 

Yes I am 

And of course I need your help so whoever is reading this if u have any advice please keep it down below and I'll appreciate it . 

        Anyway

Today he replied to my story , we haven't talked for a long period of time 

Of course because he's not initiate at first and second of all he kept me on seen twice , I mean he used to do a react at least but lately that what has been happening. 

     -let's get back to the story-


So yeah he replied and of course as a little dummy I replied back (sorry to my self esteem) I was waiting for him to initiate a conversation after I replied but unfortunately that wasn't what happened 

 And now the last message is mine but well here's the good part 

   He did a react to it bebe , I wasn't left only on seen (what a romance)


But seriously,  I hate it every time I talk to him ....

The way I hold my phone waiting for him to reply 


And then pretend I'm in control so I try to distract my self by scrooling or even watching a movie...

And if u want me to be brutally honest I do that just to shift my energy back to me so he reply ...


Every time when I do this when I'm self-conscious (which is 97%of my time)

   I hate it 

   I feel so Pity for myself 

   I want to get over it

  Yeah it happens sometimes but not always... 

 Some days I forget about him ...

 And some other days , I get more attached 


And for sure , it's really tiring....

    


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