Dear Diary,
Love and feeling pity for yourself
I can't call it. Love, of course but ... here's a thing
It's the desire of being with someone but when it happens suddenly something turns u off and now you don't like him anymore!
-and yeah , that's me -
So ,am I struggling?
Yes I am
And of course I need your help so whoever is reading this if u have any advice please keep it down below and I'll appreciate it .
Anyway
Today he replied to my story , we haven't talked for a long period of time
Of course because he's not initiate at first and second of all he kept me on seen twice , I mean he used to do a react at least but lately that what has been happening.
-let's get back to the story-
So yeah he replied and of course as a little dummy I replied back (sorry to my self esteem) I was waiting for him to initiate a conversation after I replied but unfortunately that wasn't what happened
And now the last message is mine but well here's the good part
He did a react to it bebe , I wasn't left only on seen (what a romance)
But seriously, I hate it every time I talk to him ....
The way I hold my phone waiting for him to reply
And then pretend I'm in control so I try to distract my self by scrooling or even watching a movie...
And if u want me to be brutally honest I do that just to shift my energy back to me so he reply ...
Every time when I do this when I'm self-conscious (which is 97%of my time)
I hate it
I feel so Pity for myself
I want to get over it
Yeah it happens sometimes but not always...
Some days I forget about him ...
And some other days , I get more attached
And for sure , it's really tiring....