Early Wake-Up
The day begins with an early wake-up, despite the room being cold and empty. Sleep still clings to me, but I force myself out of bed to head to the gym. At this point, my mind may wander, as my body isn’t quite ready for action yet, but willpower and discipline take over.
Breakfast
Breakfast isn’t just food; it’s a carefully planned selection of nutritious items that must be balanced — proteins, carbs, and fats in the right proportions. Knowing that I’m starting my day with proper nutrition gives me a sense of control over myself and my life.
Gym
The gym isn’t just about physical activity, it’s a mandatory part of my discipline. It’s a place where I can release tension, clear my mind, and focus on my body. Plus, exercise allows me to feel alive, despite the monotony of everyday life.
Grocery Shopping and Cooking
After the gym, it’s time for a trip to the store. I don’t like buying groceries for the whole week in advance. My love for freshness and variety in food requires me to cook every day. Cooking becomes a real process where I can express my culinary creativity. Each new dish feels like a small victory. It’s my way of taking control over my life.
Work and Hobbies
At work, it all depends on whether there’s a project. If there is, I dive into it wholeheartedly, not letting myself get distracted by small things. If there are no projects, I do something else: cleaning the house, engaging in hobbies that bring me joy, maybe drawing, playing games, or reading. Sometimes, work becomes a tool for distracting myself from personal struggles.
Dinner
Dinner is another moment of self-care. I cook again, but sometimes just eat whatever’s left from lunch if there’s plenty. I always keep the balance of nutrients in mind. The evening meal isn’t just food, it’s a way to close the day with a sense of satisfaction.
Reflection
After all this, a moment comes when I start feeling internal tension. The desire to see my loved one becomes hard to ignore. I begin to fight this feeling, eating something comforting or soothing myself with smoking, even though I know it doesn’t really help. My thoughts drift into writing, and I start jotting down my feelings or creative ideas.
Physical Discomfort and Thoughts of My Loved One
At the end of the day, when I’m ready to relax, I suddenly feel that my body demands attention: a severe headache, aches in my bones, and possibly a sore throat and chest after the workout. I check my temperature — it’s high. It’s sad, of course, but that doesn’t change the fact that I still need to clean the house and do laundry. The weakness and fatigue remind me to be more careful with my physical load, but there’s still an emptiness in my mind and a longing for the person who isn’t here. I lie down, exhausted and uninterested in anything else, hoping that tomorrow will be more interesting than today. And sometimes it is. But right now, it’s just too cold…
It feels like all attempts to control my life are crumbling under the influence of emotions😖
This is the day of a free-spirited person who lives by his own rules, yet often faces inner contradictions between the search for self-realization and the desire for personal relationship.
Emotional maturity doesn’t come easily…
“I’m always gonna love you”