I stand on the balcony, leaning against the cold window frame. The night sky stretches above me, full of stars. They shine like tiny lights scattered across the darkness, but I’m not looking for meaning in them.
My first HEETS in an hour is burning out, a thin trail of smoke rising and disappearing. The air is cool and fresh, filling my lungs, but inside, I feel empty. My mind is quiet.
I don’t want to think about anything. Not the past, not the future, not the people who were once close but are now gone. I just want this silence to last a little longer.
I take a second HEETS. The cool air clears my mind, and the sky draws me in with its depth. I want to dissolve into it, become the air itself, float among the clouds.
I close my eyes and take a deep breath. The cool air fills my lungs, seeps into every cell, cleansing me of the weight of my thoughts. A slow exhale—and with it, I let go of everything that holds me here.
I imagine myself shedding my earthly shell. My skin, my bones, the heaviness of my body—everything fades away, dissolving into the air. I am no longer human. No boundaries, no form, no need to feel or understand. I am part of this transparent world.
Weightlessness lifts me up, carrying me higher—above the rooftops, above the sleeping streets, above the city itself. The wind moves through me, playing, swirling, but I don’t resist.
Before me stretches the dark night sky. Deep, endless, beckoning. It welcomes me as if it has been waiting all along. The stars shimmer, reaching out with threads of light, and I reach back.
I am not just floating among the clouds—I have become the air itself, the current, the movement. I need nothing but this feeling of freedom.