March 25, 2025

Dear Diary,

I open my heart to you. I share my pain with the world not for the fame but that my message may reach a person who's in pain. Open your heart as the sun goes down. Maybe my story will hit the 10 year old boy who just lost his daddy as he struggles to grasp what it means to be the man of the house. Know that you are loved even when you don't love yourself. Time away from work has made me introspective. No more always on the go. For once I get to sit down and tune my hear to what's important to me. Family friends and gratitude and peace.  Life has been on the high end right now. I pray it doesn't all come crashing down before I get to enjoy it. 

I lost my lady, the one I've been with for years (8) 💔

The effects are slight and appear during silences. Just momentary space in between time. I loved her and I most miss her presence. When I'd look over in the passenger side and she'd be there. I miss that. And all the laughs of course. I'll get everything back I just have to get to this money first. It sounds dumb to say but I always wanted to buy her a house and maybe one day I'll be able to do that. I always told her I would. I want to hold true to that promise....maybe. idk we'll see. 

My pops had an en bach hearing and it has been a heavy energy in me. I am so proud of the man that I have become. I look at myself and I thank God for allowing me to become this person. I make mistakes. My biggest issue is thinking with my penis. Not gonna lie.  But the man I have become is a man that I know men from all around the world wish they could become. I'm so blessed and happy to have become this man that I am. Thank you God!