Dear Star,
lets talk about ~love~, but first updating from last time, do NOT watch Diabolik Lovers. It's all assault ! The writers probably wanted S&M, but the girl didn't actually like it so it was... sad. If she were more... 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 I'd give it 10/10 not gonna lie. Reiji is so...
Yesterday, or the day before that? I don't know the whole family sleeps at like midnight on the holidays. Me and my brother wanted to know our parents love story, since me and him have never even held hands with the opposite gender. Actually I think my brother might me aromantic, it's still very young to tell, he was still interested though. Our parents are pretty apathetic. I could admit to a murder, and the murder could be broadcasted on the news the next day exactly how I described it, and they'd either not notice, or say 'that's bananas', then move on...!!
Now this is were the lowkey fight started? My dad said no, to ask our mum. We asked why and he said that she probably told us and we shouldn't bother him. We asked our mum right, then she said ask our dad? Then we did again then he complained that we always say lies about his past since our mum likes to mix lies with the truth. We were like huh ?? That makes his input more important for cross referencing but looks like it was too much work. My brother wanted to stir the pot and told her this and she was offended, told us to ask him since he tells the perfect truth all the time then (?). Of course, dad told me and my brother not to ask, that it doesn't matter. I then wanted to do this thing I like to do where I say an obvious and rude lie so that the other person feels the need to say the truth to save face, kind of rude I know. Of course my parents being my parents are immune to this and ignored us, I accused them of having an arranged marriage.
I gave up since it's not that deep. They act like roommates instead of a married couple. I'm grateful of course, it's much better than having them hate each other. I went to hand out with my younger sister after. My brother then came to us with a good theory. He had asked our mum whether our dad had charisma to get with her, she said 'does he look like someone with charisma?' THATS IT !! Me and my brother figured it out. I remember asking some time back what my dad liked about our mother and he said he liked how she didn't want to be a housewife and was ambitious and supportive; that when he was broke she gave him money. So that's it. Me and my brother theorised that the reason my dad says nothing it because he's being his usual self not going to lie. And my mum isn't because she's embarrassed that she did the wooing; approached him, likely took *him* on dates, and paying for him. My brother and I agreed that her doing all that as the woman is very embarrassing. After that whole fiasco with my brother asking about their love story, they actually spent the rest of the night side eyeing each other, do they actually like each other I don't know. They grew up in a small area and were probably each others best option.
Now, back to what all this means to me because diaries are all about me (✿◡‿◡) !
I think due to my overbite, overweightness, and laziness, I'll definitely never capture the attention of any guy. BUT ! On the 0.000001% chance I do, I desperately don't want to be like my parents. From observing other parents, I have learnt that having children are an very big romance-killer. I'm into some concerning guys in fiction ! I liked the guys in Diabolik Lovers yes, and L. Lawliet from Death Notes yes— but I know that in reality I should lever be within 100 kilometres of guys like that if I value my peace of mind + life. In reality a generous guy, with a pure-heart, that is mild-tempered, friendly and honest would be good for me, since I'm sensitive and super timid. Someone who talks to me in a gentle matter would make me feel at ease ! That is all great things yeah, but I also want a guy who is not only all that, but is kind of old-fashioned in the sense that that they will accept me for wanting to be married before doing anything X-rated, and in general act gentlemanly.
Now... all this feels like I'll have better chances looking for a unicorn !!! All the guys around me, actually no, I can't assume since I'm too awkward to talk to them. But I'm in an age group that has more situationships than actual relationships. I don't care what others do, to each their own, but I feel like guys who want the same thing as me don't exist now ??
There's only one solution really, die never having held hands with a guy, kissed one, or ever been in a relationship ! The silver lining actually is I'd be 100% guaranteed to never be in a toxic relationship right?
Yours truly,
Blossom ^_^
P.S, should I spell check these? Actually I'm too lazy, ha !!