December 27, 2024

Dear Diary, I AM NOW OFFICIALLY A SLUT. At 39, I’m no longer an FWB VIRGIN.

My husband is mean to me. he makes sure i feel emotionally insecure. makes sure i know he has sexual relations with others and that he constantly communicates with them and might feel emotionally attached. i decided to do the same but just to fill the physical obligations to me he neglects. one of my friends from way back just came back from abroad and conceniently plans to stay for a while.. a long while. he has agreed to be a friend in this time of my need. i havent dont anything like this before. i was nervous. but he makes it feel comfortable for me, i done feel judged, he makes sure he gives it his best and it doesnt feel like he's being just sexual. or just performing. its been a long long while since a man has made love to me as if he adores and worships me. i never expected this. i only wanted to find a way, any way to not feel bad about my husband faunting his relation in my face. i just wanted to be physical and secretly be even. but now.. i feel like someone is defending me and making me feel better because he doesnt like whats being done to me. sounds pathetic? i dont know. but he did tell me that he was just shy but wanted to know me better way back when we were in college. argh!!! wtf is this??!! this wasnt supposed to be part if the plan ! im freaking thinking about someone whoom supposed to not be thinking about. he's just supposed to be a "team mate" becUse he said its unfair when the fight is 2 against one, and to be on my team. pota gaga. but smart. not thinking h this out loud. good thing you caught yourself in time. shiiiitttt this is nooot good. you're supposed to just transfer attraction. not transfer affection!! now you have 2 problems of the heart. but ar least..