Dear Diary,
2:35 pm
Hi, I don't know what to write, I am feeling to heavy right now, I feel like crying...there are many reasons.
I was in the Kitchen and I burnt my hand with boiling water I poured wrong items in wrong utensils, I burned the rice...now I feel like crying more...I often get emotional or sentimental whatever is the right word coz it makes me feel light... holding things make me anxious and restless.
Like at this moment, I am hurt, both emotionally and physically, the burnt part is hurting and I can feel that I am anxious coz I can feel my body shivering a bit. I am feeling so cold right now (thanda wala cold 🥶).
I talked to Samyak also and I don't know what's next. And I have known my "life" whole life , so I am surprised, how can I get anything in my life I want. I have lived my whole life like this, not getting anything I desire for...
I don't know what will happen next, all I know that after this I would not have any expectations from life coz my life keeps me giving reality checks at times.
Why is everything so difficult for me. I know I am fighter but sometimes I feel like getting lost somewhere, where no one can find me.
I am not able to focus on my work as well. Work se yaad aaya... I found that Harsh ka birthday hai aaj. Tabhi usne 2 din ka off liya tha...I need to call and wish him. And I need to work hard, that my help to overcome all the feelings.
I wish I was not here at this time, so that I could have cried, I wish someone could hug me.