November 14, 2024

 

Dear Diary,

Hi, it's 2:30 am, I should ideally sleep but I can't sleep, I want to sleep but...


I am feeling anxious. And this happens quite a lot these days. I don't want to go through the same shit. For the first time, when I experienced or understood that what this is anxiety in 2020 or 2021 maybe from that time to healing myself, in 2023 I felt I am over all these feelings but everything is getting back. Today, I have understood the reason, that is my expectations from people, maybe that was the reason I stayed disconnected from everyone. Because when you allow people close to you, you will get hurt somehow and boom, you're back again there, all the struggle goes in vain.


I want to write a lot today about everything happening in my life, maybe the reasons too of me being anxious, but I don't want to type that much today. Maybe tomorrow.



It's 3:15 am, and I am eating fried rice, maybe I am kind of hungry that's why I can't sleep, eating always helps, sad eating, stress eating, 😅 



I would have uploaded a few pictures and ofcourse picture of fried rice too but there is some sort of issue in this app.







Hoping to fall asleep, let's see what happens. Another sleepless night or...

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