Dear Diary,
Hi!
Aaj toh mood ki watt lagi hui hai, I feel stuck, kuch din phle I wanted to write but tab I was about to write something else jo ki utna problem nahi tha....
Ohh, I had a disturbance in between Shaadi.com assistance se kisi ne call kiya tha..I was like ki maine aaj tak kisi ko interest bheja nai hai ye baar baar bol.raha ki apne interest show kiya hai...wo log ko apka profile kafi acha laga hai and all...I am like ki yaar maine bahut time se kahin interest show nai kiya hai but aap batao profile id... then I saw ki May me accept kiya tha unka request.
He was like aap 4-5 min ka conversation hoga talk to him, I said mai abhi interested nai hu baat krne me...as I have found someone from shaadi.com itself and things are going right...so yeah!
I am having a severe headache right now, I can't understand what or how I am feeling, I am anxious but maybe little stressed or I am in a mess, I want to eat but I don't want to do stress eating
Again a break, Ved Rajput called and senior se baat kraye..he said ki professionalism ki kami hai...I agreed and assured but chalo, a deal is done toh jitna lose hua hai is month wo cover ho gaya...bas time se kaam krna hai abhi..
Atleast one good thing in a day, kyunki subah se mood off hai, Chinmoy sir se Pradeep sir se koi shikayat nai hai mujhe but Ashish sir jo mere se aaj tak one to one conversation nai kiye na hi kisi meeting me rahe wo aake alag tone me baat kr rahe hain and bina matlab ka point prove krna chah rahe hain, I was like I will prove you wrong with my polite words but wo polite words bure lag gaye, fir wo chale gaye wahan se and I can see kahan se aa raha hai ye...all thanks to Gaurav Tanna, I just hate that man. Anyways, fir Chinmoy sir ko maine kuch kuch bola jisse sir ko samjh aaya ki mujhe bhi bura lag gaya hai, but I respect Chinmoy sir and unka position bhi samjhti hu, sir ka face bhi down tha...mai chale aayi unhone message kiya Shikha krk but I didn't reply. Meko unlogo k baat samjh aa raha tha but what I didn't like was Ashish sir ka tone.
Anyways, it's a major setback or step back, Idk but I am moving out of the office, and I am very neutral about it. But I have to take some harsh decisions, and I need to work hard, I can't procrastinate for everything, this is the biggest issue on my end, Aman also called, he is struggling financially, he says he isn't able to sleep from many days coz of all the things going in his mind, I said ki meet me and let's figure things, let's work together again or work on our respective things, we will talk and find ways to get things back on track.
I am hungry, I am sad, not exactly sad, I don't know the feeling, I want to eat something very spicy, I am thinking of going to Sana Ma'am and I will hug her, wo bhi gussa hogi mere se, Bunty sir se unprofessional bol denge, mujhe laga tha mai sab handle kr lungi but nai kr payi, I saw one reel someday jisme bola gaya tha ki business krne k liye 5 Pandav lagte hain, ek person sab nai kr sakta and that's true.
Actually I will make all the plans today and uspe kal se work krna shuru krti hun.
Chlo messages aa rahe hain, I will write more later.
Maybe today again. Atleast writing helps.
I will order something and eat and kal se I will follow my diet and cook at home.
Janavai ko le kar decision lena chah rahi thi ki abhi uska utna need nai hai but dekhti hu aaj bhar soch leti hu, uske baad raat tak final decision bana lungi aur kaam start krti hu I mean saare new packages, Ad designs, pending calls sabkuch, notion pe tasks wagera, I think Janavi ko rehne dena chahiye, salary dene ka issue nai hai but kaam nai hai utna but is month aa jaye toh baat bas itta hai hike ka jo boli wo abhi useless lag raha hai... let's see sara kuch figure out krti hu fir decide krungi. Kal se exercise/ walk/ workout bhi krungi taki mood acha rahe, happy hormones se.
I will eat something, ja rahi Sana Ma'am k pas bhi thodhe der...ya phle office jaun, idk.