Dear Diary, three days ago from today, I finally witnessed my grandparent give in. She got up in my space, flipping me off, and telling me how much she hates me, and how much I am like my past abuser. How much she hates me, my mother, aka her daughter, all her children, and that now that I am officially an adult, she can say what she wants about me. And today, she threatened to pull me out of school. I'm not sure if she can, but I'm sure I'll find out soon. Either way, I feel both happy my prediction came into fruition; as I have known these things were going to happen eventually. I'm trying to find a way around this, since at the same time, I'm also sad, because I was taken from family I care for, and I know cares for me. I wish I knew what I could do. But for now, patience is key. For now, I know my priority is in my school lessons. And I know I have friends and family that care for me. And those willing to help me. I don't want to fear, what I should not have to be afraid of. Every year, I am grounded for at least 3-6 months at a time, I don't remember not being ungrounded for long, as it doesn't matter what I do. I could be breathing for all I know. I wish things weren't so one sided, and I wish my grandparent wouldn't push her ideologies on me so often. I understand she fears things to. But constantly comparing me, through who my mother is, who my aunts are, who her children are, what ethnicity I am, and why I do what I do. I don't understand what's so wrong me. My trust and respect cannot be just given, as neither can hers. I understand that much. So why do I always get told off instead. Why argue. Why can't we come to a less stressful conversation, instead of trying to control me in things I do, say, or people I associate myself with. I am not harming others, and those I hang out with don't either. Hopefully me finding this site helps me keep my thoughts, and events in order. Staying calm, patient and open-minded is what I need to focus on, along with graduating, and figuring out how I can get my personal info from my grandma, who is withholding it all... I hope my stress levels go down over the coming days... Having no privacy means getting caught crying, or showing any sign of how I really feel right now, will only make her more mad...