You know what eating disorder is like? It's like you crave one thing but you end up eating something else instead, and eating so much of it that eating the thing you craved in the first place ends up being not as bad. You know what eating disorder is like? It's like you not being hungry anymore but your hands just stuff inside your mouth all the things that come your way and you can't do anything about it. You know what eating disorder is like? It's you wanting to throw up everything you ate but not being able to do so. It's you having food noise and making constant food plans, only to mess up anyway. It's having bad GI issues, being a good person and refusing to eat heavy foods but at some point messing up anyway. It's you making resolutions and constantly swearing to oneself that this won't happen again. It's you crying from physical fullness, but also mental overwhelm. It's you understanding that you are in a trap. It's you starting over every day.