Too tired to Change. 😶‍🌫️

Dear Diary,

   Don't know what's the matter with me, but each day that is passing by is making me weaker and more tired. I just don't want to live like this, this is just so painful and boring, I am not made to live like this. I pray every day to change and get better, but it is not this way anymore, I am just too tired, my brain dose not function the way it used to back then, it's slower and tired. It's like it is too late for me to change. Back then I used to live my day, now I am surviving them. This is not the way I want to live life. I am not good at anything specifically, I don't want to die knowing, that I did not matter, and I was just like any average person out there. I want to contribute, I want to help, I want stay, but I am just so tired of this.

I am just wishing things never turned out this way for me...