August 17, 2024 #510

 

Dear Diary, I feel like I am actually empty. I don’t really remember my childhood or high school days. I’ve been hoped people I was friends with contact me after graduation but it’s always me to send them texts. And they seem like they are not interested in seeing me anymore. Was I that kind of person? 


I felt urge to start find myself last night and started journaling. It was difficult to write about deep themes so I just wrote easy ones for several lines.  Just to write several lines on my phone.   But I need to start somewhere. 


My partner says I am special person and even told me all of their life decisions are made for meeting me. That makes me cry because I had no idea why they feel in that way.  


I even had no idea what I want for my birthday. I don’t know what I want to do this weekend.  Am I just tired then if it leaves can I come up with ton of ideas?


I’m so envious of people with obsessions or something they can be enthusiastic about. I don’t really have any. 

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