-Me-

Dear Diary,

I don't know how to be me! I know it's all very complex, but I also think that in a lot of ways it's due to the way I was raised. All childhood trauma shows up later in life. This is no exception. Of course there are big T and small t traumas, I am talking about small t traumas here. 

I need a cliche for everything! Social interactions stepping outside of what I normally expect seem just impossible for me. That's why I don't have close relationships outside family. Everything is so fake and on surface! 

Sometimes I just don't know what to say to a person. Just as if all topics for conversation have already ended. I also run out of social battery pretty fast and get intimidated by the presence of people, and it has nothing to do with them personally. Maybe it's because I can't relax in social situations.