Dear Diary,
She wants to be heard.
She's screaming but it's into the void.
No one hears her.
She has this need to be wanted but who wants this?
This broken body? This broken mind? This shattered life?
Just be thankful. Just smile. You are scaring them away. Stop being so desperate. No one likes that.
But she isn't desperate. She is no longer trying. She has given up. She is exhausted. The fight is gone. No use screaming into a void that will never answer back.
Please, please, please. All she wants is to be wanted.
No one wants this self contempt, this sadness, this... everything...
She needs to keep her eyes open, keep her hope alive. But it's dying, slowly slowly dying, receding, shriveling back into the soil from which it first grew.
Be silent, they say. No one wants to listen to you. You are too boring. You are too closed off. You need to trust more.
Easier said than done. She wants to give up so bad but keeps hanging on, for the future.
For the future of what? No one knows. Maybe it's a futile effort.
Who knows?
Who cares?