April 24, 2024

Dear Diary,

its been long since i came here to write something;

recently everything seems blue, i dont know what's the reason but, i feel a hollowness in my chest, even when i'm happy i am not happy. I say its because my periods are near but i don't think thats the reason. 

 I just feel so out of place, with my friends, with my family, with myself. Plus i really want to just, be sad but i feel too lonely to do that too, i know my friends care but alas when we did we stop caring enough? when did we stop caring enough to try and make each other laugh, when we are together we are not. 

ah i can't remember when did me and her last actually spent time together.......... and im so sick of this honestly, im sick of always having to be around all her friends too. 

they get to meet her personally and online, while me, i just have to learn to be comfortable with her friends because thats the only way i can spend time with her, and even then its not truly spending time with her. 

i am sick of chasing every friend of mine so that we dont lose the friendship.