Hey rick 👋, hi. Tell me what I feel? How I feel? Could you feel me? I don't know what I felt.
I joined in a band. At 1st day I'm so nervous in our band. And I didn't noticed him that much. I know he's there. That guitar guy. He's a stranger that day.
From the next day, I saw something in him. Coz he plays guitar. And I love music. Maybe that's why I'm attracted to him.
As you already know me. Even though I had past heart breaks, I always have that hope that one I'll find my one. But I'm pretty much mature that I won't fall for anyone rn. I just told my friends: this guitar guy, he's my crush. I'm gonna watch him daily until he finishes his year and leave. He's my senior. He's third year and I'm a first year that time.
Before I start to live my moment fully, after a few days, I left the band coz dance grp wants me.
After that, I saw his video. He sang a song with his friend. But I can't hear those lyrics clearly and i can't figure out the song name. As a music lover, I'm just so curious. At the same time, I used this chance to talk to him. And I done something I'm gonna get embarrass for the rest of my life. I should've started with something else.
I started with "hi dude!!". It was suggested by my frnd. Before i delete, he saw my MSG.🙂
Anyway we had a good conversation and i found that song name.After that band and competition, i couldn't see him daily.
You know what? I found out that he's take after that convo. But I can't let go of his thougts. I didn't want to talk to him, or make a move. I just want to see him from far. That's all. Maybe if I saw him daily, I may let go of his part in my life sooner. The days I won't see him, I became more eager to see him. There's no spark I got rather than him. I saw him few days. Even though I'm in the 6th floor on some building after I got my frnd's call: that he's there. Immediately I ran to see him. I saw him after few days I don't saw him. I was in front of a lab, door opens.. some seniors came.. and then he came. I be like: hi !! And he be like: hi. His eye brows went up like: she?.. but that day, I saw him like: this is the last day. Coz I can't see him daily. I was so happy that evening that I got to see him. And later that time, my frnd called me. Coz he knows some seniors and they said: that guitar guy said:sight? Ofc, it'll be "myname". My entire happiness went and I'm so embarassed.. how did he know this. Coz I just planned to see him and end my clg days well. And then I never saw him. It took a lot of months. He came for attending exam. I saw him. And my frnd told: did you saw the girl right beside him. It's his gf I guess. But I didn't saw anyone. Everything becomes blurred when I saw him. I only see him. And then I never got a chance to see him. Lot of months passed. But no one can replace him.
And now he's 4rth year and I'm second year. I saw him again. I got another chance to be in band. But I refused coz he already know that I got a crush on him. And i know he got a gf. I don't want to make him uncomfortable. I didn't joined in dance too. coz of my family situation and also I wanted to watch him perform from far.
My frnd sent me pics of him as my req. she's an ambassador so she should be there to see how everything works.
I was in my class. Always watching outside thinking I would see him atleast once. I saw him with guitar in his back walking through the next floor. I literally went out from my seat and saw him.
And here's a day came. They said there will be prelims. Out of 13, 6 teams will get selected to perform on dday. I went to see him perform. I was totally fine but also worried. I was fine becoz I got to see him the whole day but worried at the same time coz if he's not get selected then this day will be my last day to see him.
My two friends were ambassadors so they'll working (supporting our dept) the whole day. I felt like I'm the odd one out. But they told me they won't let me be alone. We went 4th floor in our clg main block and other juniors gathered. I'm waiting for him coz this'll our meet after long time. He didn't came. Anyway we decided to go down. I came outside first, at the entrance the moment I went outside, he came infront of me with his guitar in back. (Scene 1) I saw him but he didn't notice me. He literally saw the entire world above me but he didn't saw me. It was like 3 secs. I was disappointed and went outside. I don't know he really didn't noticed me or act like he didn't noticed me? I went down with my friends. He came after that. I acted like I didn't noticed him. His event started. I went outside from hitech hall. I wanted to see him but I'm afraid somebody will notice me. He stood before me with a few distance. I saw him. I saw him the entire time he stood before me. He was in full black. The sec I saw somewhere he went missing and my eyes started searching him. Other girls sang for the competition and I hate him seeing those girls. Okay, I got jealous.
(Scene 2) I stood with my friends. My shoes got untied. He just stood behind me. I thought if I could fall behind. But I didn't. I got the chance.. my friends told me: if I would've fallen, then that situation became so awkward for both of us.
His performance time came, he was taking his guitar from his bag. I was sitting in the steps. My friend said all the best for him. That time I saw him, and we both saw each other and I just smiled at him. Not more than that. And we all went near stage.
(Scene 3)I sat in a chair. And the previous band were playing. And they were singing: hasili phisili.. and my name came. I got shy and at the same time he stood beside me with guitar. We both were vibing to the song. I wanted to say all the best to him. But I didn't said.
He performed. I vibed and I prayed to God that he should get selected. I'm the happiest person that moment. And after that I didn't get to see him.
But I heard: his band got selected. That's enough for me. I got one more day to see him. And that day was the sweet yet worst day of my life.
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