November 30, 2023

 

Dear P,

I'm gonna continue my story from the last time. So micky came to meet me and well pineapple kept calling me for some reason that day again and again. Micky saw the calls. I still remember the face he made. His face muscles just dropped suddenly. And I'm to blame for that. After a while he told me this "Leave the past behind when you're starting something new". I should have left my past behind, but I didn't. My fault. Soooo after he left, I called back pineapple. It ringed for a while, and someone picked up the call. She said 'Hello". Yep a she. A female. I went mute but said hello after few milliseconds. We both had this awkward silence between us, neither of us saying anything and waiting for the other person to speak. And she decided to break the silence, she asked "Wanna talk to Pineapple?" I replied with a long-hesitant "yes", to which she answered "you can't, I'm his girlfriend". And oh my gosh, my heart just dropped, it sinked. It didn't hurt though, it was just a very weird alien feeling I have no idea how to explain it. I just wanted to block him everywhere, let him know I didn't like that encounter and that I still had some tiny miny self respect left in me. But I didn't. I thought acted like it didn't affect me a tiny bit would be the best thing to do because that's what few instagram reels suggested. Somewhere deep down, in some corner of my heart and my mind, I was hoping he would call me to explain everything. I was waiting and then I wasn't. And that's when my phone rings, the contact reads his name. I felt content knowing he called to explain but I was mad at him, soooo obviously I didn't pick up his call. I felt like crying. I didn't like him anymore so I couldn't understand why it felt so bad to imagine him with this new girlfriend. Why should it matter to me if he had one or not. And with micky idk if I can trust him with my heart. I'm scared that he will leave like everyone else does. I was going to rant it all out to pineapple on snapchat and here I'm telling it all to people who wouldn't even know my existence.

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