(im eighteen)
Dear Diary,
im 18 to this yr. but i dont feel any responsibility. as the oldest child in a very middle class family, my priority should be study hard and have a good life!
my parents do well as they can. they evryday go for work. they r getting older and sick day by day. i know that. but i wish i had money, at least a part time job that i can earn my own expenses. they pay like more than half of they earnings to my studies. my mom used t always to STUDY HARD! WE PAY MORE THAN WE EARN FOR UR STUDIES! she used to tell me over again and again and again. then i decided to study by my own, watching you tube videos and using other materials but it didnt work cuz i didnt have the discipline. i dont feel any responsibilities at all! i dont know why! i dont even have a face wash or a body lotion. yes i apply normal soap on my face! no body cream. i keep my hydated by drinking water all the time AT LEAST I HAVE WATER.
i dont have beautiful dresses. i only have 5 shirts and 3 legins with limited under wears and only two couple of shoes. i dont even apply hair shampoo in somedays cuz i dont want to force my parents.
THE ONLY THING I GET EVERYDAY IS FOOD , WATER AND CLEAN AIR. that is enough for living. just surviving. but when i see other girls with makeup, beautiful dresses, beautiful shoes... i jst stop myself thinking about those.
i dont have a good mentality to study. i chosen very hard stream for my high school as my mom's desire. but i hv become stuck.
i wud like to have a nice hair cut.
but im still very small child to my mom. she dont even like to keep my hair free, always saying me to tie it up.
thats oky.
my topic is how to survive! why the universe is alwys messing with me. i dunno why