Dear Diary,
i am freaking insecure about my body. to be honest, since many years. i starved a lot, i ate a lot, i did sports and diets but at the end, i end up crying and comparing myself to other people who are much skinnier than i am.
according to my bmi, i have normal weight close to underweight. but i dont feel like i am underweighted. my legs are so fat and my belly as well. i have wide hips which pisses me off.
like, i wished i were as thin and slim like so much other people. i wished, clothes would fit me better and also look good at me.
my dad gives me always hints that he thinks i am fat. and i think he is right. like, he is my father, he says the right stuff, doesnt he?
darn it ...
am i really that fat? if i think about it.. i know i am fat but maybe i need somebody who tells me i am not. but then i think, that person is lying and i am fat. and then everything starts again and again.
aishh
i hate this so much.
why cant i just be skinny and pretty?
hhh