Dear Diary,
i don't know why i love autumn and winter so much even though some terrible things have happened a few years ago during these seasons. i keep thinking of those things and im crying and regretting but nevertheless i feel home when we have autumn and winter.
it makes me feel home.
i dont know why. do my past mistakes let me feel home? like, it sounds a lil strange but ... when i listened to some songs i used to listen to some years ago, i just felt like home. well, it wasnt really 100% but that feeling was so familiar to me.
i saw everything in my inner eyes again, every mistake i did, every moment i had - good and bad. some made me cry, others made my smile.
sometimes i wished i never made that big mistake but other times ... i know many people wouldnt think the same .. i feel like, it was the right thing ... it sounds crazy cuz what i did is so damn bad and i regret it so much cuz i destroyed lives and i was so dumb and i still cry cuz of it and there are still traces of what i did, so i will never forget that mistake cuz the traces are on my body, they are like a path, they are drawn on me, they will never disappear.
am i a bad human being?