September 23, 2023


Dear Stranger, 

I'm a walking paradox. I'm emotional, too emotional sometimes, but I'm rational too. Emotions are a tool, one that is just as important, interesting and useful as reason. I'm sensitive, I cry a lot, but never in front of people, and I know to accept my emotions. I do think I probably am a rather stupid person. I believe people should be proud of themselves, that they should feel confident and beautiful. But that doesn't apply to me, because I don't believe I deserve to have any kind of self worth. 

I'm kind, I know I am. But sometimes I don't want to be. I'm warm, I want everyone around me to feel comfortable, but I'm cold towards myself. I'm a child in a adult's body and at them same time, an adult in a child's body. I'm both brave and scared. I have a phobia of the dark but I love horror movies. I think everything is important, and at the same time nothing is, which somehow makes everything even MORE important. 

Who made me like this, and why?? Is it just funny to watch me scurry about down there on earth, desperately trying to figure out who I am? Sometimes I feel like I'm barely human. 

Jesus christ I don't even know if what I'm saying makes sense anymore. OK, maybe I have a fever.......