LEFT BEHIND
Dear diary,
Today was a weird day i am saying 'weird' as if every other day is pretty normal which its clearly not. I am not in the zone to do anything else but just to pour it all out. Its 11:40pm and I am so tired from the constant walking and taking the whole world on my shoulders. Yes I do feel that. The weight of constantly being pulled down into the deepest oceans. There are so many people yet no one to talk to. People here are just weird. I cannot decipher them.
I already rambled about it during class in my notes, scribbling furiously in class as the professor lectures shit.
The highlight(s) of the day were that girl wearing Taylor swift merch and everyone commenting on it. I was jealous. I dont even know of what and why. She's not the no.1 artist for no reason. Everybody knows her and everybody loves her. But over the years, Taylor's music has become very personal like a part of me. I dont know how to explain it. So whenever I see a random asshole being a swiftie it just destroys my mood. like dude shut up you're not a good person, Taylor doesnt approve of your love for her.
And this is how a day gets worse-
when everyone around you are in groups and you're just there. when the people who say they are your friend but then just forgets about your existence. This moment even got captured on camera. Its heartbreaking to look at that picture to be honest. It just makes me go through my entire life in flashes. I don't deserve to feel like this is all I know. Being let out, the sense of 'not belonging' peirces through your heart. You feel there are thousands of things wrong with you.