Dear Diary,
After long, high on emotions.
First of all, I think You, tod, is one of THE best thing i did in this life. I was reading older notes today and it all appeared so vividly. 253 days ago, i wrote about Jyoti to you.
Yesterday
`Asan nahi hota ek pratibhashali stree se prem karna`. Na jane kyun har baar in panktiyon ko padhke aansu aa jate he, ye meri kamjori ka ahsaas he ya uski pratibhao ki unchai ka ascharya. Udasi nahi he ye, jaanta hun me.
Aaj fir instagram pe uske post dekhe, inspiring as always. Vo kahti he, Fortune and love, both favors the Brave. Aur kahti he ki, `let go of yesterday and let today be a new beginning and be the best you can`
I think i need the dose time to time 😀. Sometimes, we need to stop and look back, take a moment to be grateful for everything we have had. Even though today i feel little low, there is feeling of strength, a positivity, i had beautiful things in life.
Today
I feel a bit angry, a bit lost, trying to be a bit empathetic.
After every few days, we reach to this stage, where i have to tell myself to stop thinking about her. Right now, in this moment, i have no excitement of getting married, in-fact in this moment, it's kind of opposite. Its the things happening at home, the whole wedding thing, mom, di getting depressed. Involvement of everyone is causing serious issues. I have to act and take responsibility of my life. Instead of growing in someone else's shadows. And also, at the other end, in this moment i am finding it very difficult to see what am i jhelofying all this for ?
What i should do now ?
Let it all go, lets not worry, let me not think about her. let me not put any more effort in the relationship.... ?
I f## dont know, what should i do right now... Let me just live...