August 27, 2023 #444


Dear Diary,

Okay, let’s catch up with my self. There’s actually some good things as well, remember! 

These days I have been stressed even though I don’t want to. That’s no good. Let’s get myself back again and start a new week as who I want to be. Don’t let others disturb me from being me!! I can control how I feel and what I let in. 

  • Sent a message to my childhood friend and we are going to have lunch or tea next Saturday. 
  • Went to dentist for check in. And there’s no bad teeth. 
  • Got a phone call from a colleague. I missed the call but she said it was for asking me out if I want to go to kbbq with her other colleagues. How nice of her! 
  • Could teamed up with a senpai at work to survive company trip in October. We suspects it’s gonna make us feel unsafe most of the time. But at least I got a pal to survive it. 
  • Got message from my friend. 
  • Didn’t forget Sunday vacuum day
  • Visited a temple and did sutra hand copying meditation for the first time. 
  • Now I am interested in some buddhism philosophy and bought books. 

Detailed weekend plus rumble;

On this Saturday….

I visited an artificial lake. It didn’t have to be artificial but there’s an interesting shop nearby. The shop is something in between a metaphysical store or a souvenir store which sales tiny cultural items from around the world. I suddenly came up to visit there to buy some protection items. I mean some cool accessories to wear to remind me that I am me. I bought a silver pinky ring which is mainly black and has a unique design.  Also, I have been not able to get rid of my job trainer from my mind all the time and that’s stressful, I bought a bracelet which looks like it works to protect me from his energy affects me. I know it’s so ridiculous to think like that. But since he told me he dreamt about me I felt scared and my mind was occupied. (He cares too much about girls around him. And it’s like eww! So I want to reject)

And that’s no good. I can’t sleep well every night. But now the bracelet helps me think  it hide me from his energy. I will wear it every day at work…secretly around my ankle. I am not that in to these metaphysical stuffs but I think having these items helps me reminding how I want to feel, how I want to be and so one. 

Still my chest feels irritated and not feeling calm but the idea of being affected by his energy is a bit gone. 

From this upcoming new week, I will try to let go of small things in sentences that makes me feel annoyed. I won’t think deeply about those things and I won’t receive things that sound like a non obvious mean words. There’s high possibility that he’s not mean that way but it’s just his natural words choices. 

And also, I will try my best to have enough sleep. It’s the most important part of self care. 

Today was my little sister’s bday. So I bought her a plush🍤

I am glad that now it’s her fav. 

Poor thing she had to deal with scary hallucination again. It’s comes from lack of quality sleep. She has Down syndrome so she gets it easily since this stressful covid era. And now the ac is noisy at night. So she can’t sleep well. But the good thing is, she was able to deal with it by taking her medication by herself. 

Basically we ate her fav foods and she had a good day she said. 😊