Dear Diary,
For the past 2 days I've been having really bad migraines. I get it a lot especially if I skip coffee, cry a lot and well I did cried a lot the moment I woke up yesterday. I was so down and unfulfilled at the end of the day cuz I didn't do anything helpful that day. I felt guilty looking at my mom and not being able to tell her about sean.
I thought I was getting better but I just go back to zero, I just cry whenever I get flashbacks of how he was when we were together and how he was during our last convo.
When I met him on the dating app, all his pictures were him traveling, like selfies...awkward selfies cuz he was always frowning, maybe to take a better view of the place behind him. But since we met his selfies looked very bright, happy, and he was always smiling especially with the ones he would share with me. So maybe just maybe I did made him happy for a bit, maybe he did genuinely fell for me just for a bit.
But quit the talk about him! Today is an okay day. No migraines just a little headache here and there, but I've got accomplishments! I memorized the choreography of newjeans supershy, opened a new dishwashing soap, went outside with my mom, met schoolmates that I think im friends with:] and I've also been listening to no contact podcasts while I was cleaning the house and after listening, the house looked brand new(an exaggeration but still awesome)
Tommorow is our first day of school, which means back to sleepless nights and studying 5 chapters for a 15 item quiz. But the thing that im looking forward now is im about to get really busy, busy enough not to think about him all the time.
And I think that would make my no contact journey bearable. (CUZ I NEED TO REMEMBER ACTUAL PROBLEMS SO ID STOP CRYING ABOUT HIM)
I CAN DO THIS! WE CAN DO THIS!