Dear Diary, I was feeling down but now it’s a bit better that I feel I can at least sleep peacefully enough.
Because I took bath and warmed up my body…? And played music on. The playlist was happy mix created by spotify.
And read a magazine that my mom picked up from the library.
I want to believe this feeling is coming from the tiredness I got from my first day of work after covid leave. I really want to believe if it’s the only reason why I am feeling like this. But still “friends” thing occupies my mind… at least I had learned how to open up to my parents past several years. That’s also important thing.
I have been okay for like half a year. I was enjoying the time. But I didn’t realize that I am actually in paper thin danger of losing friends. I used to have several of them but now it’s almost zero if I don’t make any moves. I might be rejected and finally would learn they already left me tho, at least I have to make a change. Oh god…
But at least I have a psychiatrist appointment on 20th and at least I can tell him my mental situation. That would be a little help.
But I have one person who is welcoming to hang out with me. I know her since kindergarten. I don’t think we know about each other well. But I really appreciate her if she could be my closer friend again.
Good night