Dear ghost,
I see it as a privilege for the young to be lost. When the old have learned all that they lost, they must have also recieved. For all the time i have lost myself. I like to believe I will find the best place to thrive.
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For all the pain you have showered on me, i treasure like i did not deserve it. Because I was there for you. I have never seen it as a nuisance but when you told me you have let yourself go. I wanted to pretend like I did not hear you. Like it was a joke you were telling me. But I could hear the pain in you. So, I could not help but remember those long calls on blue nights when i told you not to call me if you ever let yourself go but you told me, " what? Why? I was thinking I will call you if I ever." And we laughed it off like it was a joke. But now, you tell me, you have let yourself go on days I thought you found happiness. You tell me that I wasn't there when I almost lost you from this world. When you almost gave up on all of us. No, when you gave up. I know it is a pain for you to live but I can not imagine living in a world without you. No, even then, you will always be there for me. Is it that hard to live?
Yours even as I fear to be