July 20, 2023

 

Dear ghost,

Once in the blue night, I creep in my room. I would befriend the silence and seek comfort in it. I would make sure my heavy steps are light just as if i am walking on a deteriorating suspension bridge. I would sing loudly in my mind so as not to utter a word. And I would sleep because in those times, I wish to dwell with the dead. In the daylight, I would wish the sun would hide himself just to curb the shame of being exposed. At night, I would desperately try to disappear in the dark. I would not want to make a sound. I would not want to associate. I would want to wipe out my existence. I am naked to such pain.


***

"If it's you, it's okay," a line that parades the privilege of being blessed with a person who treasure your vulnerability. There is a wall that one have build to protect that faint heart. The armor that you and I know so well. Even so they find the way in. And to be gifted with a person who will not only make you grow but value you more than yourself. That is the true gift that the God will give, if they really exist.


***

The pervasive thunder and the enchanting rain knows well of your weakness. It is ever noisy but it listens to you more than anyone. It is the joy of the wretched and the sign of your hell. It is what delights me and consoles me. It is the rainy night that relives me.


Yours even as I fear to be.




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