July 06, 2023


Dear Diary,

Had a decent day, well not decent, it was below average honestly.

First, Jiju cane yesterday as surprise, it’s good on some levels, but it also feels like a little pressure, because i have work things going on and it generally feels bad that i wont be able to give him much time. 

I dont have holidays now.

In the morning Hitesh called, in all these years, whenever i asked him about how was work going, every single time, he said its not going well. And now he is also sick, And it bugs me now, that in all these years, I couldn’t help my brother do better. I am proud that despite all this, he never asked for money from me, i wonder how he goes to doctor or eat food or even if he is eating properly. 

He is probably never getting married. Because nobody is helping him getting a bride 🙁 😢. And here i am, feeling sad about it, sad about my incapability to help him, but not doing anything about it. 

I don’t know if just giving him momey would help him or negatively impact him, i have to help him run a business and give employment. 

Sad things is, I think with the fear of actually having to help, i never even asked him about his business or if he needs help. 🙁

That is sad, and on top of that recently i spent money like water on futile things, while that could have helped him setup a livelihood. 🙁

And I wouldn’t even have realized this without the conversation i had with her yesterday. 

I think i am still not late, I should act on it. 


With love ❤️