May 23, 2023


 I find no will to continue.. I know everything I understand everything. I feel calm about everything. But..
I find no songs to comfort me
I find no lyrics to relate to
I find no motivation to live
I find no one as same as me
I find no one to talk to
Everything seems like it exists but it doesn't.
Even though it exists , it only ruins.
I want to be free 
I want to fly
I want to live rather than just surviving
I want to find reasons that makes me happy
I'm tired of trying,finding,existing.
I want to be a ghost, noticed by no one. But also want to be found.
Even though someone kidnap me, I will be like, okay !! Let's go.
I want to run away 
I have home and a family but it feels like I don't belong to be there. It's not my home. I want to be at home. I ran far away as far as I can not to get hurt. I distracted myself. But I'm trapped..  I feel so empty. I don't want to do anything. I took 3 days break. Still I struck.. something weighing me. I don't know why..