May 23, 2023

I find no songs to comfort me

I find no lyrics to relate to

I find no motivation to live

I find no one as same as me

I find no one to talk to

Everything seems like it exists but it doesn't.

Even though it exists , it only ruins.

I want to be free 

I want to fly

I want to live rather than just surviving

I want to find reasons that makes me happy

I'm tired of trying,finding,existing.

I want to be a ghost, noticed by no one. But also want to be found.

Even though someone kidnap me, I will be like, okay !! Let's go.

I want to run away 

I have home and a family but it feels like I don't belong to be there. It's not my home. I want to be at home. I ran far away as far as I can not to get hurt. I distracted myself. But I'm trapped..  I feel so empty. I don't want to do anything. I took 3 days break. Still I struck.. something weighing me. I don't know why..