May 22, 2023

Dear ghost,

I did write that you would know soon enough about all that I truly amount to. You have seen what facade I have been building. You must absolutely regret choosing me. I barely know who I was and who I am. I know what I should become but the flutter in my chest awfully frightens me.

You do not know what it feels like to walk in a room and be so afraid of them. Their eyes and the way they colour me. To be so anxious that you wake up with sore body.

How do I escape this? How can I come to love this when I can barely dream about what I do not deserve?

Yours even as I fear to be