Dear Diary,
i don't have much to write about today, but i still want to have something down so i can build a habit of writing everyday.
not much happened today. i still feel very anxious to be alone around my parents, but no arguments or anything today. i can't help but think about how my mom said she wanted to visit my city with me when i get back and it makes me miserable. it's my safe place where i can be whoever i want to be. i already can't wait to dye my hair when i get back and do my winged eyeliner everyday. i don't feel like myself and i haven't since i came home.
i miss all my friends and the fomo is really taking its toll on me. all i do is count down the days until i'm back.
i miss art so much. i texted him back last night and haven't heard back from him yet, but he viewed my story. every time i see his name pop up in my story views, i'm hit by a wave of pining. i can't wait until i'm back in his arms again and i hope i hear from him again soon. i'm also trying not to put all my eggs in one basket and i'm trying to take a step back, but it's impossible for me to pull away from his warm embrace. i can still feel it from thousands of miles away.
only 41 days until i'm back home. back where i belong and back where i can go back to being my authentic self again. back where i can be whoever i want to without having to worry about people from my past and what they think of me. i think that's the fun part about moving cities (or in my case, continents)! no one knows who you are, so you can be whoever you want to be. you can be a completely different person with a completely different story than yesterday and no one would know.
it's fun having a fresh start in life. i can proudly say i'm many baby steps closer to who i've always dreamt of becoming :-)
idk if anyone will ever read this or if anyone will get this far, but if you did, i thank you! thank you for hearing me out when i feel like no one else will. <3