Darling ghost,
From the past I dug:
June 7
Carelessness
It's the poison that burns in my vein, as the blood turns into a flame, my death is eminent. How ominous your premonination? How terrifying your indifference?! Yet I die. Oh, how I die?!
June 12
Want
The idea of someone wanting you is so beautiful I want to drown in it. Forget everything you ever wanted and then want differently. Just the moment makes all the difference in the world.
June 16
To be better
I am impulsive and do whatever I want and consequently, I am bound by carelessness. Whether it is pronunciation, grammer or use of langauge as a whole. Because of my short coming, I constantly face embarrassment that I hardly notice.
June 19
Back
"Home is where the heart is" whomever said that was a one hell of a liar. My heart is not noticeably bereft but it's where I always come back to. Thus, it is my home and my sanctuary where I can be myself. Desire is such a delicious concept; it ruins you yet it is the only thing that keeps you from giving up. As the desire roast in my heart, I believe it is ready to be eaten.
June 20
Not yet
For now, I am going to stand up and get ready to run. Often, I miss being by myself and then, I think to myself should I just break what I have now? But I think about the loneliness I would feel without the sweet voice. So, I wake up again to hear him.
June 21
Blossom of your songs
For the sweet spring that you sang to me,
I could only listen gently like wind
Scared of the winter that slipped away
Yet longing for blossom more than my name.
If only I am brave
To see this spring in the dreams
But as your petal spiral my soul
I waver in every sun rise
I am afraid my dear
The future of our fantasy calls me a coward
But you know my name
Call me and I am yours
For every fancy of your strings.
June 23
Motivation
It is scarcely in me like the rain in the desert. Although I drowsily nod off towards regret, I still dare to dream. I no longer believe I will be great, this is my peak. And it is so sad, so bitter yet I dare to dream. I believe that it won't last because nothing gold can stay yet again I dare to dream.
Hope kills me yet it save me.
July 1
Bitter
How bitter am I
That she was condemned
How bitter am I
That he stand above
How bitter am I
That I cannot defy
How bitter am I
That he speaks of the things too large
How bitter am I
That she belongs to him
How bitter am I
That I belong to him
How bitter am I
That he loves me
How bitter am I
That I am bitter towards him.
July 12
Home
I don't wanna go back. Not where every link has been broken and every effort has turned useless. Above all, I fear that I turn into a worse person when I go to the college. The fact that I have someone that adores me doesn't consoles me in the least. It's not his fault, it's mine. It's my irredeemable want to be left alone and paranoia that relates relationships with chaos. What I see is a "full of hassle" life but it's bound be beautiful right? It's bound to be. I must remain cheerful for myself and for him that seems so beloved.
July 29
And still I love myself more
August 11
If you listen, I am sure you will know. How wretched I am. How pathetic I am. How weak I am. If you could just listen to yourself. You could haveade difference- not in the world but in your world. If only you listened
September 9
Why
When you read, you are awake. You see what you have been longing for. When you think, you are finally touching something again or for the first time. Above all, you carry no burden. You are free.
And you shall be as long as you read stories and have the blue castle.
November 22
It's just silly how you want me to believe in you. To love you and when I do, you walk away. Leaving me stranded. If you were going to walk away, you should not have moved me. You should not have touched me. You should have left me alone. Like I like to be.
What if I am different from what you think I am
November 26
I thought i was immune to it,
This sootful air
This black crispy mist
I was naive
It ruined me.
As I breathe this fire
That burn away my oath
I shall hope to be a dragon
Not to steal your treasure
Nor sleep among gold
Or to blow this toxic air
But to fly away back to my valley.
Where the air is me
And the sky is wings
February 9
Insecurities ate me
I am still swimming in the food basket
February 17
Within this reach,
I want to hold the world
In hot pink
Let the world wish
To be everything
Everything of you
May 20
the one inside of me is shut in the mask that I wear O so beautifully.
June 25
I am Origama but wait wait.... let's go back a lil. Hm... a bald lil baby fidgeting behind her mother. A very annoying existence. a psycho. But beloved. maybe even hated. your entire existence that encircles around the give and take concept. very funny.
A Satire.
a joke.
But oh so fun
August,21
There is this child in me that's losing its breath. everyday it's grasping for more air to breathe. it dying inside me. Save me. Save me. it weeps.
"come away o' human child, to woods and water wild. with a fairy hand in hand for the human world is more full of weeping than you can understand."-W.B. Yeats