cheated once, couldn't live with that fact so I broke up next morning
traumas related to sudden loss of close friend due to car accident and friend`s suicide
feeling anxiety about being abandoned by others, fear of rejection
build up walls and defence mechanisms that might make it more difficult to engage into relationships
when meeting new people, especially when I like someone, I distract myself by going into serial dating to make sure my thoughts don't get too focused on one person
when I sense I might get hurt, I would relieve stress through sex hook-ups
Me now
Until recently (late 2022)
tried sex without emotions but it didn't worked
tried group fun but it was far from what I expected
tried making a small group of close gay friends but got disappointed, as it was not much about friendship but more about enviousness and competition
From March 2023
decided not to have sex with strangers, no one-night-stands
not exchanging or accepting xxx pics
not looking for fuck buddy [tried, never worked]
putting more focus on your inner beauty instead of your outer beauty [ chances that we match on the attraction level are much higher then on the personality level, so why starting with less important aspect of you and loose your/my time?]
....to be continued
My future
I will not talk or disclose my future plans publicly. Thank you for understanding.