March 11, 2023

 

The last week has been rough. The plumbing issues lead to a full blown house spiral which lead to a mental spiral. Add the last few weeks of on and off power and internet and it's been rough. But I hardcore cleaned my place yesterday and it feels great. I cooked dinner today for the first time since I can remember. I've been enjoying playing New World quite a bit lately. I went to yoga at Dyno in the morning and then when to The Schvitz after. Came home and played more games and now it's now at the coffee shop. 


I feel like even though I've been stable (aside from the last week) for a while now, I also feel kind of stuck. Like yes I'm keeping my life together, but I don't feel like I'm progressing. I think the biggest issues is money and the house. I spend too much money because I lack discipline. Spending money makes me feel good and life is hard. I know I need to do better with that.


The house is another issue. I keep it clean, I do well with that, but my computer is still in pieces, my room is still bare, I have a laundry list of smaller projects I want to do, I still have tons of stuff that isn't unpacked, etc. I'm keeping my day to day together, but I'm not moving forward in ways that I want. I hope I find the time and motivation that I need.


On the other side, I go to Dyno multiple times a week. I enjoy it so much. It's great for my mind and body. I get happy when Keira is there. I think she's cute, but I also have no idea how old she is. She seems young, probably too young for me. But I enjoy chatting with her and I think she enjoys chatting with me. I'm going tomorrow at noon with Matthew and Devon. Matthew got a membership and bought shoes. He really likes going and it's nice to not go alone. It's not that I'm not making progress in my life, because I am, I just think I'm caught up on the long standing issues that bug me everyday that I'm yet to really do anything about. I really should map my life out. I think I'll do that now in a Google Doc. It seems a very Jacob thing to do.


Or maybe I wont because that requires effort.


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