forgiveness

Dear Diary,

forgiveness. Forgiveness the drug. I forgive a lot sometimes too much. Because I'd rather let them back in for them to hurt me over and over then push them away. I let them walk all over me. Kind of scared to be alone that fear allows me to let people back in after they hurt me again I'd rather be with someone who's rude then alone okay I'm terrified of being alone so I forgot and forgive. How do I do that how do I push them away how do I say no. It's hard I guess I'm learning