"I guess this is where we part ways, habibi. Where the short story ends, where the inks dry. I wish you best of luck :)"
"You, too. Thanks for the memories."
Was that all? Was that all I was going to say? The guy tried to be poetic, something he's always liked about me.. Whilst I tried to harden my heart when what seems to be the last words of our chapter have been spoken at last. When nothing to something to what could've been something more stops at that. To just… could've been. All because one of us doesn't want to give us a chance.
But even when I'm certain I don't have feelings for him, that it's not him I want… I still feel a weight in my chest as I recall all the cute moments we had in February, just the previous month. And in a flood of memories, the laughter and fun we had came to me like flashes of movie scenes as sadness grips a part of my heart.
Oh, but they were cute moments, they were.. Like the blossoming of young love, so sweet and pure.
When we had ice cream outside and it started to rain.. When I got blisters from my shoes and he stood by me the entire time as a crutch.. When he lifted me up and twirled me around as we waited for a cab.. When we hugged and our lips almost touched...
"If you had worn your glasses on our first date, I would've taken you out of the friendzone," his words said.
"What difference will it make? You'll still mean nothing to me."
Nothing.. We should've stayed at that.
But he kissed me.
And I kissed him back.
Was I cruel? Did I lead him on? When we've both established we're so different and we want different things?
"I've always had this feeling that you don't really like me. Even when you're holding me. Or kissing me…"
I felt a guilty pang in my chest as those words left him. And I felt utterly sorry because ..
"You're not into me, it's fine."
.. because it was true.
I thought with time, I'd change my mind. But, no..
The poor guy doesn't know. He doesn't know that while he waits for me, I wait for another. That while he aches and burns for me, I still burn from the flame I had with someone else. He doesn't know that despite the magic and connection we have, after five months, the same man still occupies the larger part of my mind and heart.
Oh, Rollo… do you not think of me anymore?