February 14, 2023

Today is valentines day. A fun marketing scheme. It is only the morning but I can tell today is not going to be great day. It started out good. I actually ate something for breakfast and someone gave me a cookie when I got to school. But when I got to class someone said that they are going to cut themselves later tonight. I would have tried to comfort him but he had me do things that I didn't want to do over text. Then an ex that I used to love with all of my heart is sitting uncomfortably close to me right now and reeks of weed from his dad smoking. It gives me a headache. Hopefully I will be able to talk with my online friend tonight. He is so wonderful, respectful, and kind. I don't know if I love him or not mostly because I have never met him in person and he is 6 years older than me. My parents and most of my friends don't like him because he is older, I met him over discord, and he lives across the world. But it is hard to see him as dangerous when his Instagram feed is filled with funny dog videos and memes. I am stuck between a rock and a hard place but I might try to runaway with him to escape the hell hole I am in now.