Dear Love,
We broke up... no you broke up with me, you asked me to stay in your life, you said you needed me and would spiral without me there but if thats the truth you never would've left. I don't know if I'm disappointed, I should be but like everyone else you shattered my heart, left and treated me like a near stranger afterwards.
It's been hell for me, every fucking day I've cried, every day I wish you'd regret your choice, tell me you fucked up and want me back but its never gonna happen. I've cut, I've drank and tried to sleep the pain away but nothing works anymore. You were my EVERYTHING, I gave you all of me, I told you everything, every secret I ever had, my biggest fears, my dreams, my family issues, I changed for YOU, I was planning my life around you, I was so excited for our future but you fucking left and still had the audacity to say you were still in love with me and asked that I stay in your life.
Over the course of a year you made me the happiest I'd ever been and within a couple hours managed to take it all away. Do promises even mean anything to you? All the promises you made, all the things you said you wanted for us, how could you pretend to be so dedicated to me and make me feel like I had nothing to worry about just to leave.
Since the day you left me I've seen nothing but you having the best of times with your friends, hanging out with them 24/7, going out shopping, while non-stop pressing some meaningless friendship on us knowing its killing me. Do you even care after all the pain you've caused? Or do you just numb ur thoughts spending time with other people but fuck what I'm feeling. You know you're all I ever had, you knew after you'd left I'd have nobody and instead of at least staying close you just tell me you love me but ignore that I exist.
Good for you that you have something and someone to fall back on but fuck you for leaving me with nothing and nobody. I opened up to you about what I was doing to try and make myself feel better and you judged me, you judged me for trying to ease the pain you're putting me through because it was below the expectations you had for me but fuck your expectations, I expected you to love me unconditionally and stay by my side till I die but I guess hypocrisy doesn't count for you right.
The worst part is I want to stay, that I'd take you in the second you changed your mind, that every day I think about what we could've been, everyday I imagine we're still together rolling around in our bed laughing but you shattered those dreams.