Dear Diary,
I hate my dad
I hate myself
I was thinking abt admitting myself to a psychic hospital today bc I'm scared of what I can do. But then it's almost Christmas so why risk having to stay there for longer than I thought? They say it helps by escaping reality for a little while. I'm also scared that it'll stay on my record and that people will think I'm crazy looking at it. I also hate seeing my mom worried. She had 3 girls, two already tried to kts and the younger one says she wants to die. My mom is losing lots of hair bc of stress. And I'm scared to tell her that I did it again even tho I promised. Sometimes I imagine myself kms in the middle of the girls' bathroom just to see people's reactions. Lately, I've started to think abt destroying things that I love. My parents keep fighting. My dad keeps saying that my moms a whore and that she always sneaks out to see other men. Well, honestly I wouldn't even mind if she actually did because I would rather carve my eyes out than deal with him. My dad even told me that if my mom was ever found dead on the side of the streets he wouldn't even identify her body bc of how much he hates her. So i probably should go to one but idk.