Dear Diary, I hanged out with her after she came back from the west. She took me to a restaurant. She said I’m cute and let me hug her arms because it was cold. She said it was one of the things she wanted to do here to hangout with me and having good times with me. I was so happy!! I’ve never been said that I guess. How sweet of her saying that. On the way back, she hold me kinda tighter because of the train vamping. I think it’s only because she’s so careful person but Aww… She hugged me tighter than usual when we said goodbye.
But yesterday she told me she hanged out with a boy and no reply at night. Hmm I hate to admit but I wasn’t feel peaceful about it. I’m imagining and being jealous. It’s a boy and she’s a girl and I don’t really know what’s her sexuality. I know he’s pan. He and I are the same age but he’s more like our age. It’s normal for him to… to… well it’s true that he’s cool. And I am jealous..?
I know I am just one of her friend from this country. Nothing special.
She said she’ll hangout with me today 2 days ago but I don’t really think she remembers that. But since I promised her to have traditional sweets together today, I already bought them yesterday… I don’t want to be annoying her but can I ask her if I can bring those her place…?
Kind of difficult night to sleep. Why am I being like this?
I think I want to be someone’s special. Most people do this romantically. But I don’t care or I rather don’t want to be kissed or something yet. But I want to be someone’s special. And she made me feel like so. But it’s only because she’s kind and caring and nice…she does this to everyone she likes.
I am waiting for her morning message like a clingy girlfriend without being a girlfriend.
She made me forget being sad and then made me a mess.