November 16, 2022 #362


Dear Diary, today I woke up around 3:30 am middle of a nightmare. A dude called D. Don’t trust his company because they could be brain washed by him! That’s what I remember. I think this is simply from The Titans. I should probably stop watching it. 

I ate breakfast around 7 and tried to stay out of my bed but I failed.. my mom looks kinda angry ;-;

I called a psychiatrist if they can help me but they said I can’t make appointment in this year and I need to call again next month. Hmm sad but I understood. 

At least I am going to have therapy session today.

I am still wondering…

I replied to my friend with little bit of explanation why I had not replied to her for…for like 6 months.
 “I am very sorry but it was because of my health related problem..” After I sent this, I remembered that she also has severe insomnia and somehow manages her daily life… 
I have no right to say anything about reply but she doesn’t give me answer yet. I think I lost my friend again. 
Should I explain this more earlier? Absolutely yes but that was difficult. How? ESP she lives far away and I didn’t think I need to explain everything. How could I choose my word to explain…? 
Oh How can I be socially responsible? I am different now… I wish I can be normal again. Or probably I have been the same.