This isn’t an I miss you and want to reconnect . This is I’m tired of wondering why I deserved to be used again . How someone can be so upfront about their past , and yet can be taken advantage of again . Why didn’t you break things off when you told me about your daughter. Sure it would have hurt then but it would have hurt a hell of a lot less . Instead you drug it out for another three months . Let me give you ideas of presents to send to Mrs. Jefferson . What was the point? What was the plan? You never planned on telling me you were going to visit them did you? You were going to wait until the last minute and break it off right before you left… weren’t you? Did I deserve that? No.. why did even after you shattered me into a million pieces did I decide to comfort you in your time of anxiety? Why’d you spend another week with me . D**** what was the point . I wanted to see the best in you. Until the very end . But I’m realizing now that whatever made up version of you I had in my head probably never existed and that hurts. I saw you curled up in bed with a picture of us & the house key I'd just given you. And in my head I was convinced this could have worked out . But I really truly believe you never intended it to . You needed someone to fill the void . Sure you took the high road in the end told me I deserved to find someone to love me . But you’d already taken to much . The moment you started talking to your baby mama as more than a friend you should have cut things off with me . I can’t believe how fucking stupid I was . To think you just didn’t want to talk about it much because you were shy and anxious . No you were hiding it from me . You were dead ass lying to me and leading me on . Why dude . I just want to know why . I know I’m not perfect I’ve hurt my fair share of people . I get it . Hurt people hurt others . But I’m just so tired of fixing people & saving people to be left in the dirt . Over & over again . I’m tired .