October 19, 2022 #322

 

Dear Diary, today’s work was kinda fun. I caught one student cheating while his test. But fun part was today’s my work partner. He was good at talking with people. I am good at it at least someone starts conversation with me. We talked about Netflix movies or about each of ours plans for next year plus job search. I think he is good at putting  questions. I want to copy that. I tend to avoid asking questions. I am afraid of making it suddenly too personal. Like how was your High school life or how old is my sister is and what university does she go etc etc oh and if I am in a relationship. I am aromantic and I don’t really interested in sex. I don’t want to be regarded as sad and lame virgin. What to say when people ask my body count or something? I like watching porn sometimes tho. Because they look so stupid. It’s rare but sometimes there’s cute/beautiful ones too but mostly very stupid lol 

That’s an aroace’s perspective of watching porns. 


I remember that once the drag queen at the show asked that lady what was her sexuality. She said she’s asexual and the drag queen made a joke “ I like asexual people the best because they are clean” oh 😧 I won’t forget that lady’s face. I didn’t accept my asexuality at that point so I didn’t get it why she was offended but now i can totally understand. People who has sexuality are kinda bossy to asexual person.  They treat us like  little kids. 


Wait what am I talking about? I applied to a job. It’s my first temp job application but they say I would be a full time stuff after 6 months. I am even not sure it the form was successfully sent. I didn’t have to make resume with looooong essay to describe why I want to work with them and why do I think they want me. I don’t want to work with them tbh until I could know the working environment is really nice and peaceful. And I have no idea what I can actually do for you.  Starting as temp stuff is nice. I really want the chance. I saw number 3333 today. Ohh please! Maybe it can be the change that angel number implied. 


I made a tiny step by myself today!!! With my mom’s biiiiiiiigggg help. I don’t know but she is really good at searching for jobs… 

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