In the great words of Blackbear, "2016 was catastrophic. I deserved it, just grateful that it is over, just thankful that its through". What a time it is you just graduated, it is your 18th birthday. You are at the beach, salt in your hair, sand on your toes. You can smell the boardwalk fries from the hotel. Sunburnt and excited you follow your boyfriend of five years to the pier. In line for the ferris wheel you both laugh and chat. Trying to make the best of things, as it has been up and down for a while now. You climb on and slowly make your way around to the top. As the ferris wheel stops at the top, he looks at you and gets down on one knee? He is proposing to you. He asks you to marry him. You say yes. This should be one of the best moments of your life. You sit along the boardwalk with tears streaming down your face. Not happy tears thought, as one would expect. You are terrified. Why and how is this happening. Anxiety engulfs you it feels like the weight of the universe is on your chest. You feel tiny, alone, and trapped. Tears are still streaming down your face as your life flashes before your eyes. It is dark, as if your life is in grayscale. Foggy almost as if thick storm clouds moving in. It is last month you hear screaming "why are you lying to me, I'll leave you" you feel yourself get hit, you look down it is the ring. He is screaming and crying laying on the floor having a full on panic attack. He makes you feel bad for accusing him of using again. Because he was only hiding your engagement ring. Not bags. You snap back to reality. You know he is using. He is gaslighting you, but you are alone miles away from home. Just gear up for the next fight, it is okay my dear. You wont last the year let alone a lifetime.