September 22, 2022


Dear Diary,

Wow! Long time no see, but I was busy with getting organized my life for a while because my college kicks off and I have to complete my undergraduate degree this year so I have a bunch of responsibilities. I'm not as good as they thought I mean my friends and my family but I talked to them as if I'm great as I don't wanna scare them off at end of the day, they're scared of my feelings. I know life is up and down and my life is up and down but I'm handling this. My birthday party was great my nuclear family and my close friend celebrated my new age. I'm 23 years old right now. And instead of hanging out with people who make me precious, I have been focusing on my dreams and I'm a big fan of pursuing my dreams. And then, I flirted with some laid-back guy and he doesn't give a shit what he lived. I think it was just great, as I have been missing spending time with a fun guy but as usual, I ended up with my friendship whatever you call it. To be honest, I don't feel great because he didn't have enough time to enjoy and hang up with me. Maybe he loves my appearance and my enthusiasm, but it's not enough to have a relationship. Tell the truth, I'm not looking for a man who sees the world through rose colour glasses and I believe that he couldn't understand how I feel I accepted that my up and down situation might have worn him out until we're in a serious relationship. As well, I have q new roommate who is younger than me but she's more mature than me because I don't wanna be grown-up. Maybe that's the reason why I didn't treat myself like a teenager at the age of 17 teens like the cancer treatment. So that's why I'm dealing with my depression time after time. But I hope that my feelings are going to be normal as long as I have an endeavour. The bottom line is she's alone again. But I'm giving a shit for my mother. So she's dedicated herself to taking care of my mental health and improving my mindset. For the record, I started to love my dad for a while he's realising his mistake and he has a beloved family, btw, I have been learning German for 15 days and I'm thrilled with learning about this culture. Ich Liebe dich