Ā
Dear Diary,
Hi,
I am writing again in some odd time, I don't feel good yaar, Idk how to feel better, I get anxious at times like I was some time back or I should say I am still anxious. I have decided to seek help from therepist, its the only thing I could think of at this time, I have booked an appointment for tomorrow, I hope I go tomorrow to see a doctor because it's enough now, I am so anxious that I feel everything inside my body, I don't feel physically okay you know, the shivering of my body, this heart palpitations, etc. I will go the psychiatrist tomorrow. And the only reason for my anxiety is him, I am gonna block him on my other number too as I was sick he texted me there and I can feel it him taking me for granted but this is enough now and whatever mess I have created yesterday na , I remember little things I mean some of the things which I told him when I was high.
I messed up yaar. I shouldn't have broadcasted my feelings like this. Anyways, I was waiting till 6 pm and now its done, I can't let anyone treat me like a second option anywhere, anyways he is settling for some just average person, I know I shouldn't say this but yup what is fact is fact I was seeing her from a month but I thought that she is some family friend yesterday I got to know that she is the one and she looks 3-4 years older than him and that's how in the start he said I was way out of his league and yes its true, definitely I am, I have known this from the beginning, I am way better, I know anyone can say "Angoor khatte hain" idiom here for me that I am saying bad about what I couldn't get but its true I am definitely a way above average, and from Sunday I am taking some diet to loose weight and within 2 months I will be back again, I mean I will definitely look 3-4 years younger than I am now, and once my weight loss starts I can again switch to good clothes, right now I have such a boring fashion sense coz I don't like body fit clothes on me, I am very conscious so I end up in tshirts and jeans or kurti but all my old clothes I am gonna wear them again and I have decided I will shop new clothes only when I will lose atleast 6 kgs of weight. I am very determined this time but let's see how it goes.
I hope I shred all the excess fat and weight.
That's all for now, I guess I will go for a walk downstairs only not outside.
And enough of him in my life
Its final
The Chapter closes today and I hope this time I can stand on what I am saying.