Dear Diary, so today I was bringing old clothes to the collection. Mostly old jeans that we dont wear anymore. So I thought it would be a good time to talk about visiting the barber maybe this week. Sadly it didnt go too well. She wanted to look at my head because of my eczema. It's better but sadly it is still visible with redness and some flakes, the medicine shampoos that I have don't work that extremely well for some reason. She knows that I dont like being touched on the head like that and also I have been very nervous about this situation for a few days. So I said that I am afraid she will say that I can't go because its too bad. That always happens. I worry about sth and then other people make it harder for me by stating things that I can't change. She did not like me saying that. She said I would always act like she says terrible stuff to me. What I said was probably too harsh, but considering the situation my reaction was understandable I think. I tried to apologize but she won't react and dont speak to me much. I hope this wont go on for days again.
So because of that I was pretty sad today. Everything felt just so impossible. I can't even talk about that barber visit with anyone, which I want to do to look presentable to Spike. I'm already debating if I should go this week at all. Maybe the long hair is fine? I dont know.
Thankfully there was some stuff that cheered me up. The first was the Nintendo direct which had a lot of amazing games. New Fire Emblem, Fatal Frame, Pikmin 4, Tunic coming to switch and of course the new Zelda trailer. I am so happy that Ninetendo exists and makes these amazing games. I always remember what Reggie said during some E3 presentation years back. These games will always be there for you no matter what situation you are in. And that sounds like a marketing think to say, but it actually is true. These games mean so much. I just wish I could have watched it with my girlfriend, riffing at some of the games and getting excited.
The other thing that cheered me up was reading Hentai. I've said it before and call me an Otaku but I think it is a wonderful institution. As a reader you can actually be part of relationships and sex life and its so open to kinks and weirdness. You can see girls smiling over guys, being horny for them and it feels like everybody could be a part of that because the guys in these are all losers too. This is what being sex positive means to me, that it actually feels like you are accepted no matter what your gender or your personality is. It's not like what I have to deal with where I have to go through a thousand hoops to maybe have someone like me. So thank you once again Japan!